Review: Maybelline Volum’ Express The Falsies mascara

Maybelline Volum’ Express The Falsies

I haven’t loved a Maybelline product since I was nine years old and I got a frosty pink lipstick as a party favor at the birthday party of a friend whose mother was out of town and whose father didn’t realize lipstick doesn’t come out in the wash.

Then I made a desperate stop at Target the day of my brother’s wedding. (The same fateful trip to Target during which I let the spectre of Collier Strong sucker me into buying that silly L’Oréal roller foundation.) I’d been given a heads up by the officiant that I’d want waterproof mascara for the ceremony, so in my mad rush I grabbed the closest product on which I could make out the words “black” and “waterproof.”

And then I fell in love. I have never been able to manage false lashes. (I think that’s going to be one of my beauty new year’s resolutions.) This product doesn’t go all the way to making me look like I’m rocking actual falsies, but it comes just about as close as I think I’m going to get before I can learn to master that tube of Duo lash glue that mocks me from my vanity drawer. It lengthens, thickens, blackens, and stays on all day. (All day and into the next if I forget to take it off.)

They’re not kidding about the waterproof part, either. This mascara made it through my little brother’s wedding 100 percent intact. It stayed put through the weeping and the laughing and the dancing. Plus it’s handled the Alaska winter well — my eyes seem to water nonstop, all day long, when it’s cold and dry (like it was all throughout December), and this stuff doesn’t go anywhere, no matter how leaky I happen to be. The downside is it’s a little hard to get off when I actually want it off, and I occasionally find myself getting a little overzealous with the eye makeup remover, which doesn’t help my eye watering problem.

Best of all: Since I started wearing this mascara, I have been accused of secretly using Latisse. If that’s not an endorsement, I don’t know what is.

Maybelline Volum’ Express The Falsies mascara
Bottom Line: As close as you’re going to get to false lashes without learning to use lash glue.
Price: $
Tip: Invest in a good makeup remover that doesn’t irritate your eyes. The waterproof claim is legit.

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